Mueller, Clinton To Broadcast ‘Important Announcement’ Tuesday at Noon

UH OH!

News outlets were issued a Teletype One Alert this afternoon, an industry code meaning an item of extreme importance to the country’s population would follow and need to be released.  The Alert was as follows :

R. MUELLER H. CLINTON TO BROADCAST ESSENTIAL INFORMATION RE: EXECUTIVE BRANCH PLACEMENT CHANGE AT 1200 HOURS EST TUESDAY MARCH 5 2019.  PLEASE NOTIFY ALL BROADCAST NETWORKS AND DISTRIBUTION OUTLETS.

Speculation has gone wild inside media circles as to what the nature of the announcement would be.  Mueller has made it clear that his investigation of the Trump administration is nearly or totally completed.  But what does Mrs. Clinton have to do with it?  Why would the former Presidential candidate and popular vote winner who wasn’t involved or implicated with a hostile foreign government be involved?  Other details have slipped out of Federal offices as well.  Capitol police are to be fully activated.  Security forces in and around the White House are to be tripled.  And, strangely, after the announcement, aides began steam-cleaning Air Force One and lowering the toilet seats in every restroom within the Executive Branch offices.  What does it all mean?

“I’m not gonna say anything. I’m just gonna say, someone’s gonna have to replace a certain chair at a certain desk so that a certain me doesn’t sit on fart-damaged wood.”

Our own journalistic investigation has turned up evidence of Secret Service members testing and re-testing the strength of their government issued handcuffs, as well as “Big Sam’s”, a D.C area moving company having been suddenly booked solid for the day.  A local fumigation service has also sold out for that 24 hours.  What could it mean?  Stay tuned.  Tuesday, as they say, could mean that something…or someone…is “gone with the wind.”