Nancy Pelosi Grants Whistleblower Congressional Immunity from Prosecution

Nancy Pelosi has granted the anonymous fake whistleblower “Congressional Immunity,” something a Speaker hasn’t done since Thomas Paine in 1803. The special immunity, given to “credible witnesses against the Chief Executive,” means that as long as Pelosi says so, she can hide his or her identity and offer federal agents to protect them.

Rudy Giuliani and the White House aren’t happy with the development. According to Director of information and propaganda, Gary DeTater, the move may not even be legal:

“Thomas Paine was charged with treason and spent his final days in exile for giving the floor of Congress to an accused whistleblower. Back then, these things were dealt with differently.

Jefferson was President, and the whistleblower never appeared before committee. No, we’re not threatening anyone, but if the whistleblower doesn’t reveal his or her identity soon, we’ll have no choice but to start arresting people.”

Giuliani has assured us that he will issue warrants on behalf of the President for anyone not in compliance with whistleblower rules as they used to be, not the new ones put in place to better check one particular president.

On the Democrat side, Pelosi’s spokesman, Art Tubolls, says they aren’t concerned with the threats of “a senile old man and his even crazier lawyer”:

“We think it’s great that Rudy Giuliani keeps steppiong in as an official member of the White House when we all know he’s more an official member of team stupid. Nobody cares what you think, Rudy. Get a life.”

Those Democrats are always so nasty to Mr. Giuiani. They should remember that he’s getting on in years and has trouble remembering sometimes. His work for Trump has been exemplary and perfect, however, so there’s no reason to remove him as the real Chief of Staff.

The whistleblower has 4 days to come forward to collect immunity otherwise the deal is off.

About Flagg Eagleton 46 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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