Thanks to new President Joe Biden, the big beautiful wall on our southern border that was promised by Donald Trump and saw over five miles constructed is fast becoming a memory. Crews of demolition blower-uppers and wall-smashing experts have been hard at work from the moment Biden’s executive order was signed, and the state of Arkansas is begging for help as it becomes overwhelmed.
“Um, Arkansas isn’t a border state,” opined Joe Barron of Biden’s Trump Erasure Team. “I think maybe they’re being overwhelmed by people from Mississippi because there’s a difference between the two states regarding laws about marrying first cousins and dairy cows. There’s no wall in Arkansas. Nor was there ever. I suppose we could build one. I mean, just to watch some of those one-eyed mutants stumble into it.”
Barron’s opinions aside, the undoing of the Great American Wall is certain to cause problems with our entire country, as thousands of filthy migrants sneak across into our shining city on the hill to take our jobs, eat our food, and romance our white women with their Salsa music. Former Fox News sumbitch Lou Dobbs laid out the facts during his new program, created from his living room on a Radio Shack cassette recorder.
“These so-called migrants are telling us that they’re running from ‘mortal danger’. Supposedly their middle American countries have been decimated by droughts, which we increasingly don’t care about environmentally. Supposedly they aren’t ‘poor’, and have bank accounts like anyone else, but I don’t see them buying our MyPillows or MAGA hats online. Biden is destroying this country. Now can someone pay for my pizza delivery? I spent all my money investing in the wall fund so Brian Kolfage could buy a boat.”
While Dobbs, Hannity, and other gum-flapping semi-overt racists contend that the US is under attack by the very process of immigration by which it began, others have pointed out that they’re paranoid maniacs screaming about “open borders”, which literally no one has proposed, ever. Ay, papi, Arkansas.