Wakandan President To U.N.- ‘Remove Trump’


A contentious emergency meeting of the United Nations Security Council came to a loud and spirited peak yesterday when President Umberto Eco of the African nation of Wakanda stood before the gathering and went on a tirade excoriating the United States and it’s leader Donald Trump.  The rant ended with a fiery demand that the body : “remove Trump now.”

“And how many shows do you need to force Christian Slater into? He’s just not likeable!”

Wakanda, a leading exporter of technology and medical science, is a small but wealthy kingdom, located in a partially hidden portion of the Dark Continent.  Home to rare metals, birthplace of the Krull and three-wheeled adult bicycle, and inspiration for the hit single : “Africa”, the nation has quite a bit of say with world governance.  CNN’s Sandy Batt related part of Eco’s speech:

“During this great time of trials for mankind!  During what, in my land, we call the M’pahpah!  We do not touch the American!  The filthy American!  The animal who follows the Trump is the world’s infected pig bladder and the Trump is the pig who has feasted on its own urine!  The Trump must be gone, now!  It must be removed like the offensive elbow fat of an old woman!”

I’d like to say this is Kelly Clarkson ten years from now. But it’s not.

The world leaders in attendance at the U.N. seemed to agree with the fiery President and cheered his sentiments with applause and calls for Trump’s ousting.  So far, the White House has not responded, but it’s a safe bet that once President Trump is shown the video of the incident, he’ll throw a toddler-like temper tantrum and act like the bruised ego little pussy that we Americans all know that he is.

About Fallis Gunnington 171 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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