Bob Sandhu has been a loyal Starbucks customer for decades. He loves their perfect coffee blends, delightful food, seasonal offerings, and huge variety of beverages. He can’t get enough of the place.
Often his friends will ask him why he’s so obsessed with that particular coffeehouse when others are so much less expensive . His reply is always the same. “The money I spend on my girl is irrelevant. She’s worth it. I love Starbucks.”
Those same people that asked what often respond with, “Then why don’t you marry it?”
And now he is. He’s decided to take the advice offered to him by so many over the years. Today, Bob Sandhu officially announced his intention to marry the multinational chain.
“Starbucks is my one true love. She never lets me down. She’s always there for me when I need her. She’s always loyal.
She brings me warmth. She makes me smile. And our love is eternal.
Ours is the love that will never die. And that is why I intend to ask the beautiful Starbucks to marry me .”
Bob’s human romantic interest is understandably upset but has ultimately accepted his dismissal of her and wishes them luck.
“Bob has always had a special place in his heart for that bitch. She arouses him. I guess I should be happy for him I’m pretty sure he’ll be back. I doubt Starbucks can do for him the, ahem, intimacies that I do. Certainly not as well.
In the meantime, Bob has told me I can continue on as his mistress. He said it will be an open marriage at Starbucks will continue to please tens of millions every day.”