Trump’s Newly Approved Dictionary Hits Washington Times Best Seller List

He knows all the words!

When we elected Donald J Trump to the highest office in the land, we did so for his business acumen, his knowledge of world affairs, and , most of all, for his intelligence.  This is a man with a natural instinct for science, a man who knows more about the military than anyone on earth, and  a man who has a greater understanding of the stock market than anyone.  He’s also a man with an extensive vocabulary. In fact, he “knows all the words.”  He told us so himself. And he has been teaching those words to us everyday.

Over the past few years, the citizens of this country have been shocked to find out how many words we had taken for granted that we were using and spelling properly. The number of errors we’ve found we were making is enormous

For example,  who knew we had been misspelling the word for the sitting White House resident since the nation was founded? We’ve always spelled the title as President but, in fact, the proper spelling is Predisent. That is what Predisent Trump taught us. We will never make that mistake again, sir!

And this makes sense when one considers our next error – To suggest an event has never before taken place we’ve always used unprecedented. Predisent Trump made it known we’ve always been wrong! Unpresidented is the right way to go.

Covfefe for coverage, looser for loser, council where we had used counsel,  hearby for hereby, honered not honored, smocking instead of smoking, boarder in place of border……..the list of errors that America – nay, the world – has been collectively making for centuries is truly mind boggling.

And so it is with great pleasure that we announce the arrival of the soon to be published “Trump’s New American English Dictionary”. This will be a source of greater knowledge in America for decades to come. Generations can now aspire to be as well-spoken as our Predisent and have a chance of success! Thank you Predisent Trump!

About Rod Gozinya 119 Articles
Rod Gozinya is a self-described dick. This refers not to his manhood but the type of man he is. He doesn’t like you.