Trump Appoints New Labor Secretary

The truth is right in front of you

The resignation of Jim Acosta, Trump’s Labor Secretary, came as a shock to government, even at the highest levels. He had been handpicked by President Trump himself, was remarkably qualified, and appeared to be excelling in every aspect of his role.

But all was not as rosy as it seemed. Secretary Acosta did not see eye to eye with President Trump on several issues. He cited the public’s inability to overlook his lenient treatment of prolific pedophiles as a reason for current dissatisfaction. He further disagreed with Trump putting the office of the presidency against his loyalty to staff like himself.  He claimed that he “desperately wanted to please Trump but would tell the world what he knew about the President and Jeff Epstein if he were fired”. This was a major sticking point to our elected leader. And Acosta was  forced to resign.

Shortly after Acosta resigned , Executive White House Human Resources Manager, Michael Thomas, made this announcement :

”President Trump is extremely saddened by the departure of  Secret Service Director Randolph Alles. Oops! I mean Jim Acosta. Is that right? They keep leaving. Like dozens now. It’s getting hard to keep track. These are the best people! Why aren’t they staying? I don’t get it.

Anyway, Acosta or whoever was a dedicated and selfless public servant. His departure has hit President Trump very hard.

However, there is some outstanding news that has come out of this. A silver lining. The sudden opening allowed the President to bring into the government fold a being with incredible skills who has precisely the same vision for America and the world as the president himself.

The White House is pleased to announce the hiring of the new Director of The Secret Service ……..Satan Himself!”

The most recent picture of Mr Satan Himself on record. He was coy when he introduced himself to the crowd, saying,”Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name”
The hiring of Satan is quite a coup for the United States. He has long been sought after by villainous despots worldwide but had been on a self imposed hiatus since working in Germany in the early 1940’s. Trump somehow lured him out of retirement through his deal making skills.

America’s future has never been less bleak!

About Rod Gozinya 126 Articles
Rod Gozinya is a self-described dick. This refers not to his manhood but the type of man he is. He doesn’t like you.

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