Bernie Sanders Finally Figured Out That Nobody Wants His Socialism

Fascism! It’s the cat’s pajamas!

Senator Bernard Sanders D-VT has decided at the last minute that he is headed in the wrong direction after seeing poll numbers plummet in the last few weeks. “This really sucks big ones.” said newly appointed Campaign chair Shawn Spacey, husband of actor Kevin Spacey.

Sanders has decided that this “Socialism thingy” wasn’t gaining any traction and has done a 180 where he is fully embracing fascism. Why fascism? “It works!” Sanders is quoted as saying.

“Look at how someone as inept and incompetent as Donald Trump can pull it off, just think about how great someone with as much experience as I have can really KAG.” Sanders said in a secretly taped conversation at a Des Moines VFW hall last Thursday.

While this move is a risky one, it is quite possible that Sanders could beat Trump at his own game. Spacey added, “look at how many people get Naziism and Socialism confused because the word Socialist appears in both Hitler’s German Nazi party as well as the USSR. “Look at it!”, Sanders exclaimed, “It’s right there in the title. United Soviet Socialist Republic, so the transition should be an easy one.”

With the Iowa caucuses just meer hours away the Sanders campaign sees this as a real winner. “Look I’m not going to lie to you, Bernie has always been a risk-taker, Did anyone really buy into this,” press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Bernie’s 1st cousin said using air quotes, “Democratic Socialism”? You can’t be serious, that’s just nutty.”

Apparently Sanders is going to go for what works and Fascism is what sells. He really wants to win, more than anything. Good for Sanders and fortunately there are plenty of nicknames for Trump and that’s very important.

About Billy Ray Jenkins 8 Articles
Billy Ray Jenkins was born in a sharecroppers shack in Oklahoma until 1 day a tornado swept him, his house and his dog out to California, where he naturally despised the illiberatti and vowed to expose them, each and every one.

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