Scientists Isolate ‘Supergene’ In Trump’s DNA

Scientists working with the Human Hormone Project have finished sequencing Donald Trump’s DNA. That by itself wouldn’t be remarkable, but what they found certainly is: Donald Trump carries what they’re calling a “supergene.”

We all know that Trump is no average person. He says things sometimes that are so complex that he’s literally the only one who can understand them. They say Einstein had the same issues, and that he had trouble with simple things like tying his own shoes.

Now they’re saying that the supergene may be why he looks so clumsy and stands like a weirdo. His brain is moving so quickly that he has to lean in or fall over, which makes things like closing an umbrella and walking down a ramp seem so difficult.

But underneath all of that, the supergene is what they say is the next step in human evolution. Great men like Trump will carry it first, then we’ll start seeing it more often. They say there are probably a few people out there who carry the gene other than Trump’s sons. We’re looking at you, Greg Abbott.

A separate group of scientists working for a reputable research lab that actually exists say that the reports of Trump’s supergene may be a bit blown out of proportion. Lead researcher Joe Barron told us:

“This think looks more like an infection of some sort. We’re fairly certain it’s more of an extra chromosome thing than a supergene. Trump is an idiot. If he’s the next step in human evolution, our team has vowed to start researching how we can revert back to apes. They’re far more civilized than the common Trump supporter.”

Barron’s assessment wasn’t well-received in actual research circles on YouTube and Redditt.

God Bless America.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 148 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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