Trump Appoints New Director of National Security

The truth is right in front of you

The firing of National Security Director John Bolton came as a shock to government, even at the highest levels. He had been handpicked by President Trump himself, was remarkably qualified, and appeared to be excelling in every aspect of his new role.

But all was not as rosy as it seemed. Director Bolton did not see eye to eye with President Trump on several issues. He cited desire to obliterate Iran as an opposition to our leader’s desires. It seems she did not feel the White House could legally get away with wholesale slaughter of brown people just because they are brown. He claimed that he “desperately wanted to obey Trump but would not allow a single Iranian to live to do so.” This was a major sticking point to our elected leader.

Shortly after Bolton officially resigned, Executive White House Human Resources Manager, Jennifer Sanders, made this announcement :

”President Trump is extremely saddened by the departure of Director John Bolton. Mr Bolton was a dedicated and selfless public servant. His firing has hit him very hard.

However, there is some outstanding news that has come out of this. A silver lining. The sudden opening allowed the President to bring into the government fold a being with incredible skills who has precisely the same vision for America and the world as the president himself.

The White House is pleased to announce the hiring of the new Director of Homeland Security……..Satan Himself!”



The most recent picture of Mr Satan Himself on record. He was coy when he introduced himself to the crowd, saying,”Pleased to meet you. Hope you guess my name”
The hiring of Satan is quite a coup for the United States. He has long been sought after by villainous despots worldwide but had been on a self imposed hiatus since working in Germany in the early 1940’s. Trump somehow lured him out of retirement through his deal making skills.

America’s future has never been less bleak!

About Fired Writer 187 Articles
I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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