Planned Parenthood Diversifying To Make Up Funding

‘aborted aromas’

Who doesn’t love the smell of a new baby? They have that unique scent of freshness with breath that smells like candy. It draws you in and makes you smile. It is like no other. And now it’s being reproduced so consumers can experience that wonderful aroma everywhere.

Planned Parenthood has begun production of “New Baby Smell” air freshening products that they will sell in department stores, gas stations, and grocery stores nationwide. In the works are aerosol sprays, rearview mirror car fresheners, scented candles, and essential oils. They promise to be “the joyous scent of a new baby without any of the responsibility.”

Soon these fresheners may be seen in cars around the world.

The clinics, of course, are uniquely able to reproduce the scent because of the nature of their business as abortionists. Yes, you  guessed correctly.  That baby smell will be created through use of dead babies.

Ever since the Trump administration and various state governments began pulling funding from Planned Parenthood and banning baby murder, they have been scrambling to find new sources of revenue. They have already begun opening cafeterias in their clinics to sell baby dishes and now they are further diversifying with retail products.

Spokesman, Benza Cox Lance, had this to add :

”Dead babies are a goldmine of financial opportunity. We’ve already made a killing – pardon the pun , haha – from ripping them from the womb, and that will continue, albeit it at a lesser rate as we will now being doing so on customer’s kitchen tables and in back alleys in many states, but the product we yank out can be used for so much more!

Air freshening is just the beginning! Much more to come! Stay tuned!”

Fetus soap is expected to be a big seller.

It is expected that there will be investigations into this product.  If they’re not legally allowed to perform the abortions anymore, there will be questions as to where they are getting the product to make the air fresheners and such.  Stay tuned, indeed. We will keep you informed.

 

About Fired Writer 188 Articles
I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

Be the first to comment