Planned Parenthood Offering ‘Free & Discounted Abortions’ During Lockdown

The truth is right in front of you

Planned Parenthood has started a program to offer free and discounted abortions to low income women in these trying times. They announced the program earlier today, stating that since the beginning of the pandemic, abortions were down 32 percent.

The company has promised that it will be a safe environment, changing some procedures to maintain social distancing to keep the doctors and the patients safe and save lives. They have invented a new apparatus, aptly named the Embryo Extractor, which will keep the doctors and women six feet apart.

The board of directors have had to come up with new solutions as times have changed for the foreseeable future and some women are scared that heading in for the procedure will put them at risk for even more infection, like the one they trying to rid themselves of now.

To get more women into clinics, Planned Parenthood has taken the further step of offering $50 gift cards to restaurants, that they can use after the procedure to rest at home while eating a great meal. The gift card can be worth at least $100 if she is pregnant with twins.

Provider Sandy Batt says this is a great idea. The more women we can get into the clinics, the more the economy will be saved by the patients heading to the restaurants, and there’s even talk of gift cards to beauty salons as well, for when they can start heading to the clubs to possibly have another night of debauchery and need to come back.

The Embryo Extractor, a wild development in abortion, was created by world renowned Doctor Joseph Barron. He said the need to create the device was born of the current worldwide situation, and hopes to have 15,000 of these shipped out to various clinics around the country. They can be used in fetuses up to 8 months old, as any older just gets weird said the doctor.

About Craven Moorehead 41 Articles
Hello. My name is Craven Moorehead. I was born in Frog Balls, Arkansas to my parents, Wanton and AintGivin Moorehead. I’m a total trump supportin, gun shootin, Budweiser drinkin potatoriot. I’m Good as mashing taters and lovin the big gals. F the NFL and Go Eagles.

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