Pinwheel Cancer On The Rise

Trump saves the children

President Trump has revealed to the medical community many causes of illness not before known to doctors. His natural instinct for doctoring is astounding. It’s a gift. A gift that he is sharing with the world because he is a good and godly man. His revelations have the potential to save hundreds of millions of lives around the world.

Since informing us of Windmill Cancer,much research has taken place into related mechanisms for fear that they too may have deadly effects. And another has been found. One that strikes at children worldwide. Pinwheel Cancer.

Pinwheels, of course, are children’s toys. They look like tiny windmills. They can be seen in the hands of kids all over America, the young ones happily blowing on them to watch them spin.

Seems innocent, right? Wrong. A new study conducted graduates of the former Trump University, has found a link between pinwheels and every type of cancer known to man. Every. Single. One. How could this be, you ask? Simple. It was discovered that many people afflicted with each cancer had played with the toys as children. The connection is irrefutable. Pinwheel play = painful sickness and quite possibly death.

President Trump has ordered all pinwheels to be taken off store shelves, calling them “the other Windmill evil that the world ignored.”  He added,” I told you so” as a message to all the haters.

The world needs to acknowledge the incredible contribution President Trump has made to the medical community. He’s done more in the past month than they had in a thousand years.

About Fired Writer 187 Articles
I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.