Dr. Phillip McGraw is a household name when it comes to diagnosing psychological and sociological disorders. With 25 years of experience before his long-running stint as an expert physician on the Oprah Winfrey Show before spinning off to his own smash hit syndicated program, he’s a voice that America trusts in the medical field. Now the good doctor is using his fame and influence to push a petition describing the *President of the United States as a “dangerously mentally-disabled individual who should not in any way be trusted with responsibility.”
McGraw started the official petition less than a day ago, and already has a record eight million signatures. Many celebrities have signed and promoted the document, including liberal diva Taylor Swift, deceased Presidents Reagan, Bush, and Roosevelt, and acting first lady Melania Trump who, sources admitted, may have thought it was a paper allowing her to legally neuter her husband with a ball peen hammer. Mrs. Trump knows seventeen languages.
Sandy Batt, representative of McGraw Communications confirmed the petition’s popularity and gave details of it’s makeup.
“The diagnosis Phil provided takes into account Mr. Trump’s propensity to repeat himself within the space of five minutes and his severely stunted vocabulary. These are sure signs of dementia, textbook. Recently, Speaker Pelosi correctly identified him as morbidly obese, and his shambling gorilla walk during a recent press conference serves as confirmation that the man is neither of sound mind, nor body. A seriously unfit defective shouldn’t be running America. Anyone who still supports this lumbering blumpkin ox is likewise a twisted freak to be shunned and possibly abandoned in a shuttered Blockbuster store filled with cow urine and expired gas station egg salad sandwiches.”
With the petition gaining a serious head of steam in the public eye as well as the notice of much of Congress, it may prove influential in the upcoming election. Is Oprah’s pal saving America? Or is he just torturing the springs on her couch?