Peter Alexander Banned From White House For Life

NBC Reporter Peter Alexander has received a lifetime ban from the press room at the White House. Only three other journalists have ever been banned for a period extending past the current administration in history. Alexander joins Joe Barron, who threw a shoe at George W Bush, and Sandy Batt, who tried to expose JFK for his affair with a young Madeline Albright.

Alexander’s actions were far more heinous. According to White House Director of Information and Propaganda, Gerard DeTater, the reporter left the Press Secretary no choice:

“Alexander sat there, during a national emergency, and asked the President things that nobody should ask of a President. I mean…’what do you say to people who are scared?’ What kind of crap is that?

“Clearly, he doesn’t understand the Trump dynamic. Trump isn’t a typical President who does things like comfort the American people in their time of need. He’s blunt and to the point. He makes them aware of the truth, not some watered down version. He’s not into reassuring common people he has nothing in common with. That’s not his job.

“His job is to tell you that the wealthy are more important and they will be tested first, so the economy doesn’t caollapse if they get sick. He’s here to tell you that this whole thing is China’s fault, except what happened in this country in january and Frbruary, which falls on Obama.

“He’s here to tell you sniveling cowards that he’ll get through this just fine, and so will his family, and that’s all America really needs. The Trumps will rebuild us from the ground up if they have to.”

Alexander has threatened to take the issue to court, stating that it was a “softball question” offered to give the President a chance to say something nice and comforting. Maybe he was hoping for a quote about sunshine and rainbows or about how we need to stick together as a nation and not spin everything into campaign fodder for the base.

About Flagg Eagleton 86 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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