Pelosi’s $20 Million Secret Investigation Comes Up Empty

Speaker Nancy Pelosi has admitted that she launched two investigations that cost the taxpayers nearly $20 million — and that they came up empty:

“I regret to inform the people that we were unsuccessful in obtaining any new or useful information and that the effort seems to have been misguided in the first place. We are still holding strong to the obfvious obstruction of justice in the Mueller Report, but we have nothing to add from this investigation.”

The investigation was secret and costly. Had they been open and honest, they could have achieved the same result for free by picking up the phone and asking Trump themselves. He would tell them “no collusion” and hang up, case closed — $20 million saved.

Unfortunately for Nancy and the Democrats, their approval ratings just tanked while Trump’s are soaring through the roof and beyond as people get their coal mining jobs back and auto plants return to full production. It’s a wonderful time to be an importer or a small business trying to compete. The economy is fantastic. Unemployment is way down below historic levels as people go out and get those 2 and 3 jobs they need to really give their family a good life.

So what did they investigate and what did they find? Nothing. The entire first investigation was a search for a pee-soaked mattress and the second came up even emptier. Thanks, Nancy, for wasting all that money. You were probably drunk.

*Official word is that investigation one found zero collusion, because that’s a thing trump kept saying, not something they were looking for. The second investigation officially found zero redeeming qualities between all members of the Trump team and family combined. Excerpts can be obtained by calling FOIA at (716)246-4824.

About Flagg Eagleton-Patriot 178 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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