A Palestinian Man made a public statement yesterday, filled with rage at what he was calling “hate speech”. The subject of his ire was a revered Christian holiday. Good Friday.
His name is Jesus. He’s freaking out about hundreds of millions of Christians around the world referring to the day of his crucifixion as “good.”
“I was freakin forced to walk the streets with a massive wooden brace on my back and thorns on my head piercing my friggin brain! They whipped me! They taunted me! They threw things at me!
Goddamnit! They drove nails through my hands and feet and left me hanging up in the air to die! THEY KILLED ME!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOOD ABOUT THAT??!!
JESUS F’IN CHRIST!! WHAT KIND OF BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTERS ARE YOU PEOPLE??!!”
The Pope could not be reached for comment at time of publication.