Oregon Democrats Join Pro-Life Movement Through Mandatory Vasectomy

One little snip will save lives.

In a startling policy shift, Oregon Democrats, led by Governor Kate Brown, have settled on a firm stance against non-medically necessary abortions. The move comes after one hundred plus years of Democratic baby murders and has shocked the entire state.

But there’s a twist. Governor’s spokesperson, Dan Russell, explains :

“We in Oregon have been watching the changing abortion laws in this country. We’ve been paying close attention and so we have  noted the public sentiment toward this practice.

Obviously, we serve the public and want to please them. The people want to save lives. We do too.

But we still feel that forcing unwanted pregnancies to proceed is barbaric and cruel and Republican. We are none of those things.

The “hands off” movement is rapidly growing in the state.

So we have come up with a compromise. Henceforth, all males in the state will have to undergo vasectomies, eliminating their ability to father children. This will take care of the problem of unwanted babies entirely, therefore none will be slaughtered.

The procedure is reversible so when the men decide they do want children…..no problem. Presto chango. “

When asked if any legal or constitutional problems were expected because of the violation on men’s bodies, Russel replied,”It shouldn’t be an issue. After all, laws all over the country are taking control over women’s bodies, so why not men’s?”

The new law is expected to pass at next session on Tuesday and will take effect immediately.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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