Marie Osmond Won’t Vote Trump – ‘He Cages Children’


In the mid to late seventies, Marie Osmond was every farmboy’s crush.  With her brother Donnie, she headlined the “Donnie and Marie” show, launching her career to stardom with her attitude split between being a little bit country, and a lotta bit latter day saint.

Jesus really liked her early stuff but stopped listening when she got all commercial. Now it’s all about The Imagine Dragons.

As time went by, Osmond grew her own family and her own career, scoring herself a hit daytime talk show to the accolades of middle America and aging men who still harbor sexual fantasies from back before cars had seat belts.  But, although the mousy Mormon supported the Presidency of Donald Trump in the beginning, she explained to Sandy Batt, reporter for Utah’s daily newsmagazine Buried Magic Plates that she wouldn’t be making the same mistake again.

“I cannot, in good conscience, support this horrible man who separates children from their loved ones and puts them into cages until they die.  I know a lot of idiots out there will try to say ‘Obama started it’, but they have no idea what they’re talking about.  Obama, a real President, separated families temporarily to determine status and if they had American family, and then reunited them.  The caging legislation was all Trump and Sessions in April of 2018, who admitted it was purposefully awful to ‘send a message.’  I mean, I’m pro-life.  Which is a different argument.  Trump is a terrible human being and I can’t allow my vote to go to him.  Anyone with any sort of morals would do the same.”

You could always vote for that Libertarian lady who makes her own campaign buttons out of human kneecaps.

Osmond also pointed out that the Trump administration has still not released all of the kidnapped children, even after being legally ordered to do so, which makes it a criminal child-abduction ring.

“Trump should have been arrested long ago,” Osmond stated sadly.  “Before he could graduate from con artist to murderous maniac.”  Those are certainly harsh words from America’s favorite little sister.

About Fallis Gunnington 171 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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