“Notre Dame Must Contain Muslammic Prayer,” Says Paris Mayor


The rebuilding of Notre Dame is in trouble.

The mayor of the city, Ce N’est Vrai, has made an announcement imposing restrictions upon the rebuilding efforts.

“Notre Dame has loomed over the city for centuries. In this time, it has been a representative solely of the Christian church and all of its evil.

Paris is not the same Paris it was in yesteryear, when Notre Dame was built. We are now a world-class, multicultural, multi-ethnic, multi-theology city.  If Notre Dame is to rise from the ashes in a modern Paris, it must represent this new city. This modern city.

Pope Francis was freaked right the f*^k out by the Mayor’s request.

That is why I have listed as a condition to the church that they make the new Notre Dame representative. It is a large structure and as such they should have no trouble bowing to my demands.

They must have the  structure partitioned so that multiple faiths can be represented and have space to worship. There should  be a Jewish section, an Atheist section, and, most importantly, a Muslammic section. This last one should be larger than the rest.

In addition to the crosses that will be seen on the roof, must be symbols of every other major religion on earth. Put them all up

The mayor wants the cathedral to look like a goddamn coexist bumper sticker.

If the church fails to see you to my very simple requests, they will be denied their building permits. It’s a simple as that.”

Paris has fallen to the Musslamic horde. We must take care it doesn’t happen here.

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I refused to evolve and wrote fake news for cash, so I got fired.

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