AOC Writes Bill Banning Front Lawns


It looks like the Smurfette of Congress is at it again.  Today’s little nugget of brilliance is yet another “green initiative” that will supposedly help save the planet.  She has proposed bill number 713, which will effectively make it illegal to own and maintain a front lawn.

This could very well be all of us one day.

America’s Socialist Tinkerbell believes that it’s wasteful to have a system of biological life to Lord over that doesn’t provide any food or parking.   Reporter John Fartzehammer got a quote from her outside of the Burger King near Congress :

“Oh my Gawd.  Like, a lawn is such a waste.  It’s like, plant slavery.  There is no reason to have one.  If everyone for rid if their lawns, we could totally make all our streets way wider and ride fatter bicycles.  Save the earth!  Yay!”

The Department of Lawns and Gardens disagrees with her, and has promised to go after any legislation to ban a front lawn with armies of seed-spreading grass planters.

About Fallis Gunnington 186 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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