Ocasio-Cortez: ‘9/11 Wasn’t That Big a Deal’


Among Congressional lawmakers there is a saying : “whenever Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is in the chamber, make sure her microphone is turned off.”  Well it looks like someone missed the memo yesterday, allowing America’s little ribald Representitive to spout out another doozy of a missive, live on CSPAN during a budgetary discussion.

Polls have indicated that 30,000 trumptards who think CSPAN is “fake news” are also addicted to masturbating with marshmallow fluff.

During the talks, the subject talk turned to appropriating the money necessary to have Washington’s 9/11 memorial display cleaned and tended to.  Some questions were raised about how a team could effectively operate while social distancing, and whether Windex could be replaced with cheaper Dollar Store alternative “Awesome”, when Cortez stood, sighed, and uttered the following fictional statement:

“Oh my God, you guys. It’s not like 9/11 was really that big of a deal.  At this point, thanks to Trump’s incompetence, the pandemic has taken more American lives than 45 9/11’s.  We should be talking about 25th-amendmenting that fat murderous shaved Sasquatch the hell out of there before he screws up something else.  Get the secret service a forklift already and tell them to take out the trash!”

If Trump continues to gain weight however, military experts believe it may take a Jaeger from the Pacific Rim to move the bulbous prick.

Congressional aide Sandy Batt said she’d never seen the titillating tiny toon so worked up, comparing the outburst to: “A church pastor finding out all the altar boys were wearing chastity belts.  She really blew up.”

Do you agree with the Democratic Diva’s viewpoint that the biggest attack on our soil in American history wasn’t “that big a deal”?  Or are you a proud American Trump supporter who marched in patriotic lockstep with New York after the tragedy and now wants their governor to go screw himself because he’s actually helping his constituency and speaks much calmer than the maniacal President?  Choose wisely.

About Fallis Gunnington 171 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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