Michigan Man Opens Private Church – Governor Closes It


There is most certainly one person going through a lot more pain and suffering during the current pandemic crisis than anyone else in America.  One person missing his loved ones more desperately, one person more lonely and quarantined, one person more bored and sad and in need of grooming.  That person is God.  And all Baggersville, Michigan resident Justin Hermouf wanted was to use his privately owned residence as a place where he and his friends could worship Him.

But wishy washy governor Gretchen Whitman made it clear that she’d brook none of that kind of activity.   Calling Hermouf’s “First Church of Jesus Christ the Trumpest” a violation of her shelter in place safety protocol order, local police were quickly dispatched to shut down the residential house of the Lord.

The governor greets a gaggle of Trump supporters while her ASL interpreter struggles to spell out “Dipshit-o-tards.”

Constitutional Freedom of Religion expert Joe Barron calls the bust a violation of civil rights, especially during the current pandemic event:

“It is times like this when Americans most need their faith to steer them, not science and reason.  Science and rational thought HAD it’s President.  Did he get us through pandemics? Yes.  But this is different.  This President has followers who need God more than they need a heartbeat.  You don’t need a heartbeat.  They’re all the same in the eyes of the Lord.  And in stethoscopes.  Mr. Hermouf has every right to cover his house with crucifixes and neurotoxic infection if he so chooses.  This is America.”

This is America rocking your dick off, commie.

He’s right.  Private property is private, whether you’re a heroic unemployed turpentine factory worker in Michigan, or Jeffrey Dahmer.  That’s your crawlspace, patriot.  Don’t let The Man take it from you.


About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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