New Alabama Law Requires Churches to Offer Post-Abortion Services

Planned Parenthood in Alabama has reached a compromise with the government in order to retain its state funding.  And it’s through an alliance with the church.

The Southern Baptist Church has been placed into a partnership with the abortion clinic. Planned Parenthood will continue to offer their range of services – 98% of which are murders of the unborn – and the church will offer “post-abortion services” as defined by the church itself.

The abortionists have objected to this partnership. They’ve always offered the traditional counseling and medical advice after procedures. But the church and the state have other ideas of what constitutes effective counsel.

Senior Abortion Spokesperson,  Beverly Davin, tells us the details of the operation:

“Our view of what will effectively treat these young girls after procedures is unique. What we propose will help them realize the seriousness of what they have just done and minimize the possibility of them returning to savagely murder another defenseless child, screaming and clawing as it cruelly ripped from the womb.

Our therapy consists of one step in repetition. Once per week, one of our members will visit the killer at their home, their school, work, wherever, and we will deliver to them a swift and hard kick right in the coochie. At the same time, the visiting therapist will scream at them at the top of their lungs,’Use birth control you Jezebel whore!’

Our research has shown that the combination of imminent fear, public berating, and snatch pain are very effective at preventing future slaughters of the unborn.”

This does sound like an effective solution. If Planned Parenthood is not to be defunded completely this seems like a way to eventually eliminate its need. Hopefully, other states will look at this model.

About Rod Gozinya 151 Articles
Rod Gozinya is a self-described dick. This refers not to his manhood but the type of man he is. He doesn’t like you.