Invisible Ink Messages Found In Mueller Report

DIABOLICAL!

In a stunning turn of events surrounding the uproar over Robert Mueller’s long-awaited report, messages, written in what appears to be a type of “invisible ink” have appeared when the pages were accidentally exposed to vinegar.

The discovery came when Nancy Pelosi and her granddaughter Petunia were eating salads together and going over the report.  The younger Pelosi spilled her champagne vinaigrette on the paper, exposing hand-written messages, presumably by Mueller himself.  Messages include : “Trump is a criminal”, “So much evidence – Russian collusion”, and most disturbingly, “Three of the piss hookers died.”  Whether the last missive was suggesting foul play or natural causes is unclear.

Mysteriouser and mysteriouser…

Pelosi has immediately handed over the original report to CIA code analyst Benjamin Franklin Gates to investigate further.

About Fallis Gunnington 162 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

Be the first to comment