DIVORCE SHOCKER – Melinda’s Got Too Many Bills


ITEM!  What business-blasting power couple’s marriage has weathered time, tribulation, and trillions of dollars, but seems to have met it’s fatal error this week because of a roving eye and an overexcited minky muff?  If you guessed the pair with a fairly Trumpish username, you’re probably also right, but just looking at a different pop-up window.

Don’t you worry, Elvira of Chernobyl, someone will eventually leave a door unlocked and your flight will begin!

Sources everywhere are reporting the saddest and biggest OS crash of all, except in this tale, the “OS” stands for “Ominously Sexy!”  Bill Gates and his twenty-seven year program running with wife Melinda has come to an abrupt system stop, and we’re hearing that a big-penised click on that escape key was entered by none other than former friend and royal Romeo Bill Clinton!  Holy Interrupted Algorithms Batman!

Our intrepid inside eye-guy Joe Barron got the poop straight from the chicken-fried hard drive herself, Gates Foundation chef and Yenta extraordimenta, Missy Southard :

“They’ve been struggling for awhile to make it work.  They’ve been driving seperate Bentleys for a year now, and eating in seperate countries.  It started when that Mr. Clinton rapscallion started coming by for ‘environmental visits’, and those mostly ended up behind closed doors in the 8th floor sex penthouse.”

“Now not that I’m saying anything, but Miss Melinda certainly seems very ‘upgraded’ around that man, if you know what I’m saying.  She calls him ‘Hubba Bubba’, but most of the staff think she’s more of his ‘Ho Tep’, if you get the drift.  It’s delicious!”

Zoinks!  Fatal marriage error 6969, huh Bill?

I think someone is coming home to a smashed-up beloved Dance Dance Revolution game today. Yikes!

Even more nasty data is flying around the Cloud when you consider that Billy boy is still bluetoothed to deadly damsel Hillary, who commands a John Wickish Nerd Squad of her own.  What kind of short circuit will come from this dastardly dick-filled defrag?

Don’t forget the holodecks full of hard cash at stake in this thrilling threesome. At least one of these past due Bills is going to end up microchipped out of a lot more than 5G!

About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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