Nancy Pelosi’s 5th Husband Files For Divorce

Less than a year after we reported that nancy Pelosi’s 4th husband had filed for divorce, the California Probate Court has once again received papers from a man looking to be free. Joseph Barron Pelosi, the man Nancy chose to take her name and live a life of misery by her drunken side, has asked the court for a divorce and alimony.

According to official filings, this husband’s complaints are the same as the previous three. The petition states:

  • Pelosi is abusive and makes her husband trim her toenails twice a week
  • Pelosi drinks from the time she wakes up until the time she passes out
  • Pelosi is an angry drunk who berates men any chance she gets
  • Pelosi is so obsessed with Trump that she calls out his name when she’s having her hair styled
  • Pelosi demands that her husband wear a body cam and microphone so she can make sure he’s always kind to women
  • Pelosi secretly uses bloogies at least four times a week

On top of all of that, Pelosi is said to be impatient and rude, not allowing Joe to have an opinion. He reportedly spends the bulk of his time hiding in his basement man cave, ordering musical gear from online auctions, drinking good scotch, and doing everything in his power to stay happy.

Unfortunately for Joe, Pelosi has an iron-clad prenuptial agreement that forces him to keep her name if they divorce and forbids him from ever being in a relationship again. She is, however, free to move on, since a Congresswoman needs a husband for state events.

He’s suing for divorce and annulment from the Catholic Church, which would allow him to date other women as long as they’re never intimate. He’s also suing for $50K per month in alimony so he can continue leading the life she has him accustomed to.

Pelosi is expected to shrug off her marriage yet again without comment and move on to some other unsuspecting victim. That’s what predators do.

About Flagg Eagleton 104 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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