Nancy Pelosi Spent $106K of Your Money to Get Drunk With Hollywood Elitists

Nancy Pelosi is waking up this morning with the hangover of a lifetime after throwing a bash in Hollywood — with taxpayer money. The event was billed as a performance of the Fundamental United Chorus of Kiwanis hosted by the Tradesman’s Rights United Municipal Policy. The group’s spokesman, Art Tubolls, says the festivities weren’t campaign-related, so there’s nothing “illegal” going on:

“Nancy just wanted a nice night out with her friends. As Speaker of the House, she’s allowed to throw a party here and there. The way we figure it, as long as she doesn’t spend more than Trump spends golfing, there’s nothing to worry about.”

Included in the cost of the evening were 14 cases of Wild Turkey, 14 cases of Goldshlager’s, 10 cases of Hennessey, and a bottle of Frangelico because Nancy “really likes that French stuff.”

The catering consisted of lobster, fried chicken wings and gluten-free hummus, along with a pile of pickled cabbage for the Muslims in attendance who couldn’t eat any of the meats. Pelosi’s office says that at just over $100K, the party was “a steal.”

President Trump has vowed to investigate the event, saying that “any mention of me or the election turns this thing from a party into a campaign stop. “Once we determine that, she’s guilty of fraud and I will issue a warrant for her arrest,” the President told reporters, “Nobody abuses the people’s money like that on my watch unless they have express, written permission.”

Legal analysts are struggling to make sense of any of this. One analyst, who agreed to speak on condition of anonymity, says she’s appalled by the wanton disregard for the taxpayer:

“I’m appalled by this wanton disregard for the taxpayer.”

Trump says his investigation should be concluded this week and that he’s looking forward to having not just Pelosi but a bunch of her wasteful friends charged with fraud and possibly treason.

When you play with fire, you may get burned.

About Flagg Eagleton 59 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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