Nancy Pelosi Renames The House Library After Obama

The House of Representatives has one of the best private libraries in the country. Located in the East Wing of the Capitol, the famous little library is home to some of the most famous texts in American history, including the Thomas Jefferson adaptation of the New Testament.

The room is open to all members of the House and has been named the Ronald Reagan Memorial Library since his passing in 2004. Today, Nancy Pelosi signed a Speaker’s Decree of House Decorum that renames the room “The Barack Obama WiFi Lounge,” which she said more accurately describes what the area is used for:

“Nobody reads in there. We took out the conveyor system to the Library of Congress, put some of the neat stuff in protected cases and made the room high-tech and comfortable, with members able to access every bit of info availalable to them at lightning fast speeds.”

Pelosi added that if anyone needed a book, they could “take a walk across the street to the largest library in the world and see if they have one.” Of course, a Library of Congress Card isn’t easy to come by these days.

The new space will offer three video game systems, couches, refrigerators, a kitchen and latte area, and a full set of men and women’s locker rooms. Pelosi says all of Congress is welcome, although Republicans will have their own area and they’ll need to go around to the kitchen door and get some food for the cafeteria since the private dining room is marked “Majority Members Only.”

At this point, the next question might need to be, “How much did this cost?” We already know these women in Congress are running up liquor and takeout tabs in the bazillions, but how much are we paying for all the remodeling?

About Flagg Eagleton 109 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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