Musslamic Family Endures Bacon Attack

In Houston , TX yesterday morning, Mustafa Bejai, his wife, and their two children were bizarrely attacked by their next door neighbors. The “weapon” used in the attack? Delicious American Bacon. Yes, it seems that the world’s greatest food has yet another use – that of Musslami slayer.

According to police reports, the Bejai family were having breakfast at home when their neighbours suddenly burst in.  They marched right up to the family and then pulled pounds of bacon from their pockets. The neighbour and his wife, as yet unnamed, proceeded to place the bacon all over the bodies of the Musslamic family. As bacon is a Musslamic  kryptonite, the family soon begin to writhe in pain as their skin lit up in flames.  They endured for 10 minutes until police arrived.

After their arrest, the neighboring couple stated,” Our stove broke and we had our heart set on bacon for breakfast. So we decided to cook it on some Musslamics. Worked very well. Nice and crispy in seconds.”

The family suffered second-degree burns to much of their body.


The Bejai Family is in hospital recuperating and are expected to make a full recovery. The attacking couple has been charged with assault with a pork product on Musslamics – a hate crime – and are being held without bail.

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