Romney To Run $20 Million Anti-Trump Ad During Superbowl

WHAT A TURNCOAT!

Every year, the Superbowl is a host to millions of dollars of commercial advertising.  Major companies such as Coca-Cola, Honda, and the Itchy Kitty Gentleman’s club of Brooklyn regularly shell out ten to fifteen million dollars apiece just for a 15-second blurb.  This year, Republican senator from the state of Utah and former Presidential candidate Mitt Romney will be spending 20 million dollars for a thirty-second ad excoriating President Trump.

Kellyanne Conway is actually spending one million dollars to flash a photo of her eating a banana for half a second.

Romney is one of only a pair of senators who voted to allow witnesses and the introduction of new evidence during the impeachment trial of President Trump.  The choice has garnered him the ire of Republican party lapdogs, as well as many drooling trumptards, who are labelling him with terms such as “Rino” and “turncoat” despite the fact that all of them happily voted for him previously.  The Senator’s ad addresses his exhaustion with Republican constitution-trampling – an excerpt :

“My fellow Americans, if you have followed the impeachment and trial of the criminal, Donald Trump, you can see the blatant ball slobbering of my fellow party Senators, who are letting a crime go unpunished in the highest office in the country, simply because they’re afraid they won’t be re-elected.  As the last of a dying breed of real Republicans and not cartoonish teabaggers, I find this disgusting.  Do everyone a favor, please, and vote out the stink of a demented con man and his immoral supporters in 2020.  Do it for your country.”

Romney is actually the second-most popular icon to wear magic underpants.

Many pundits believe Romney is less afraid to come out against the President, since his race is Utah is probably a safe one because Mormons.  Others believe he will suffer a backlash, should the MAGA-capped Metamucil crowd manage to actually limp-walk their flabby carcasses to a polling place and figure out how a voting machine works.  Whatever the case, it certainly seems like Mittens is putting his career on the line to make a point – and backing it up with twenty million dollars that could have bought him a lot of decaf.

About Fallis Gunnington 142 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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