Mike Pence Calls Buttigieg’s Husband : ‘A Four at Best’


Vice President Mike Pence had some choice words of criticism this week for Presidential hopeful “Mayor” Pete Buttigieg.  During an interview with Vanity Fair magazine, Pence was asked to comment on the field of Democratic contenders and went straight to the point with his opinion of the gay pol’s significant other, Chasten Glezman:

“Well, that Mayor Pete…he’s a nice boy.  Nice body.  Cute face.  But that husband is a four at best.  He could do better.  You know.  I mean, maybe he’s a good listener or something, or maybe he just knows how to touch the right spots.  I’m just saying maybe someone older, wiser, more experienced might have been watching him from afar, and may have been interested.”

The Vice President has a good amount of experience in matters of the homosexual.  As a former instructor of conversion therapy, Pence was responsible for guiding the afflicted on a journey back to vagina, a hero to many Starbucks baristas.   Pence is married to a woman who has confirmed that they have had mild sexual relations.

“Thank you, Mike Pence. Niw i dont have to drink Coors Light anymore.”
About Fallis Gunnington 186 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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