The White House has confirmed that Rush Limbaugh, the latest winner of the coveted medal of freedom, will be replacing Susan B. Anthony on the silver dollar by this summer.
On Sunday morning, Spokesperson Mike Raffone told the press corp:
“We felt it was time to modernize these coins and felt the most appropriate retiree is Susan B. Anthony. First of all, she was one of the only non-presidential figures on the currency. We certainly wouldn’t want to remove any of our founding fathers. She is dated and not really all that popular. She served her duty well on the dollar and we wish her well in her future endeavors.”
Another White House official said, “I’d rate her a 5 out of 10. She’d need to be at least an 8 to stay in the running.”
The new coins are expected to go into production around July 4th. Rush has been a trailblazer for decades, and his popularity long surpasses that of the Anthony woman.
Special provisions are included in Article 4, Title 9 of the official MOF Code. This allows for the Medal of Freedom award winners’ consideration to be placed on money.
Soon, vending machine patrons all over the country will be able to acquire their Famous Amos’ Chocolate Chip Cookies and delicious Cheddar and Sour Cream Ruffles with a slip of a Rush dollar. There is no better honor than that.
We will remember this patriot long after he is gone. Twinkies up for Rush — a good man, and an even better dollar than that one woman. What was her name again?