Biden To Give Medal of Freedom to Transgender Athelete


It was a long and tough road for Sanders Batt.  Born Sandy, 16 years ago, the youth had never felt comfortable in her own skin, and tended to gravitate towards male friends. It took some time, therapy, and good friends to help her realize she was a male living uncomfortably as a female.

Now 17 and fully complete as “Sanders”, Batt has competed in the sport of baseball for most of her life.  Now playing with minor league’s Queeftown Angels, he’s become the hottest upcoming draft pick in the country after a season-wide record of 215 home runs.

Joe Biden has selected Mr. Batt among hundreds of others to be presented with the Congressional Medal of Freedom.  At a televised ceremony six weeks from today, the President will present the honor from the White House balcony, to be simulcast in 3-D on the internet in order to afford Ben Shapiro a debilitating and hopefully, fatal stroke.

Shapiro is currently engaged to actress and comedienne Georgia Lopez.

Although the medal has actually lost any meaning or respect it had thanks to failed President Trump’s awarding of it to Rush Limbaugh, a walking shitstain, Biden’s action is nevertheless causing reactions among the bigoted fake “christians” on the political right.  A random overweight woman from Twoteeth, Alabama shared her thoughts.

“Ah don’ts like them people what can’t listen to God’s word that ain’t but two sexes and that’s that.  It was Obummer what started that with his gay black talking and Benghazin’, and that’s why thems even more things I don’t like.  The gays got to get married, but I can’t blow off a shot or two with my gun in a Waffle House if I wanna?  How’s that fair, Lord Jesus?  Where my travellin’ wagon?”

Reactions like this bode darkly for the President’s goal of uniting Americans.  Mostly because normal ones would rather not come anywhere near the type of mutant shitnipple that currently floats in the toilet of the conservative movement.

About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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