Television and movie star, Martin Sheen has decided to throw his hat in the ring as he vies for the Democrat presidential candidacy.
Sheen made the announcement at the Betty Ford Clinic, shortly after picking up son, Charlie, from his latest rehab stint.
“I, Martin Ocasio-Estevez Sheen, will be running for president in 2020. And I will win.
“I’ve stepped back from public life in recent years to be there for my family. For Charlie in particular. Charlie has had his problems. With booze, with drugs, with women. And they all stem from his outrageous narcissism and sociopathy.
Narcissism is a real problem in America today. But nobody cares. Nobody’s willing to do anything about it. Well I care. And I will. That is why I will run.
Nobody is more qualified for this position than me. I already have 8 years experience in the West Wing. And I had the best ratings. Waaaaaaay better than ‘The Apprentice’. They were so great because of my skills and my winning personality. I chose my whole supporting cast personally. We were the best thing around for my entire run.
Nobody else running in 2020 can claim the kind of experience for the position that I have. I am clearly the most qualified. I have no competition.
Just look at how I handled the terrorist threat from Qumar. Piece of cake. ISIS is toast.
I will bring humility and competence back to the White House. I am the candidate that America wants. I possess all the skills that America has shown she wants. I will run this country as Americans have shown they want it to be run.”
When asked who his running mate will be, Sheen answered, “Probably Charlie. He’ll make it fun.”
Sheen’s political resume is impeccable. Nobody can deny that he does, indeed, have a wealth of experience. Insiders suggest his candidacy could be a real threat to President Trump’s re-election hopes. But the President will surely outwit him.