Pelosi Wants I.R.S. to Audit Homeowners Over 65


As the woman who controls the purse strings of America’s considerable bank account as well as being third in line for the Presidency, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi certainly has a lot of power, and hasn’t been afraid to flex her muscles.  Her disdain for the Trump administration isn’t much of a secret either, and it’s now looking like, again, she is blatantly targeting the *President’s voting base by suggesting that the Internal Revenue Service conduct financial audits of all homeowners over the age of 65.

“Ma’am, I’m having a hard time believing you bought that couch for $2000 at Mervyns.”

The reasoning, points out Congressional aide Joseph Barron, is that these are the people most likely to be living off of Social Security payments on a month-to-month basis, which can sometimes prove inefficient to cover mortgage costs, food and bill worries, and health care.  Pelosi would use the results of the audits to determine who among these elderly Americans could qualify for MORE money.  Didn’t see that coming, trumpers, did you?

Barron also cautioned against teabaggers jumping the proverbial gun upon seeing an article’s headline and assuming that Pelosi would be working against them.  He added that mostly all of them are guilty of this boneheaded affliction, and indeed, have a solid history of voting and acting against their own interests when given the chance to do so.  Which is how they managed to fall for supporting America’s most obvious con man even when he bungles the response to a virus that specifically targets them in a manner similar to how they rush to skewer the white meat of the fried chicken onto their tray at a Homestyle Buffet on a Sunday.

Grandma, deviled eggs are not an entree. They have that buttered fish you like up there.

It’s nice to see that while Trump and company seem focused on choking their own constituency to literal death with severe incompetence, at least the Democratic leader is willing to extend an olive branch to America’s Quaker Oats community.


* impeached

About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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