Rittenhouse Destroys Lemon on CNN


It was an all-out brawl on cable news’ home for liberal tolerance Wednesday as guest Kyle Rittenhouse absolutely mauled interviewer Don Lemon on his own CNN show.

The segment started out innocently enough, with the dusky dicklover welcoming the teenaged terminator and starting off with a bit of background information for the channel’s audience, which, according to Facebook’s collection of conservative nuthumpers, is the leading station for liberal “news” bites.

I often use it to find libs for my superarmy. We’re taking Virginia next week.

It was somewhere around the ten minute mark that sparks started flying and ownership of the night’s festivities changed completely to Rittenhouse.

“Now Kyle, a lot of people believe you shouldn’t even have been there, you’re a brainwashed basket case thanks to bad parents and the internet, and that you basically, got away with murder.  How do you respond?”

Rittenhouse laughed and hit back.

“I felt that my life was in danger, Don, and so I just started randomly blasting.  I got lucky.  You wouldn’t have been so lucky.  You’re black.  And gay.  You’d have been put down like a flavorless bitch at a gunmi bitch factory.  Bitch.”

“Get him, Kyle! Stuff a blasting cap up his rectum, snugglebuns!”

Lemon seemed taken aback by the comments, signalling show producer Joe Barron, but it was already too late.  Kyle was on a roll.

“You and your thug friends had it coming, and you still do.  I will strap on six AR’s and shoot up your gay Obama bathhouse naked and dance in the maniacal death throes of the unholy.  Hail hydra.”

Knowing he had been p’owned, Lemon cut to commercial and left the show for his therapist’s home.

Well done, boy.  Now take Goldberg’s money and go hit up a strip club.

About Fallis Gunnington 186 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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