AOC Blames Trump for Middle East Crisis : ‘He Coddled Israel’


In all of recorded history, for centuries, the middle East has been a bastion of peace and tranquility, from the ancient Persians and Egyptians, to modern day Iran and Israel.  Never before has any conflict arose, nor any disagreements taken flight into armed warfare.

Everyone had toy ponies and played Hungry Hungry Hippos all day long. It was paradise.

Well, now that Joe “Mr. RamboPants” Biden is President, all H E double hockey sticks has broken loose.  Bombs and missles are flying back and forth, a peaceful day at Dave and Buster’s in Tel Aviv was shattered when power was briefly lost to an entire row of “Outrun” machines, and Tucker Carlson cried himself to sleep, clutching his robes and hood tight against his heaving breast and titties.

To no one’s surprise, congressional representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has spoken up about the sudden and completely unexpected crisis, excitedly thumbing a fidgit spinner, like all kids today do, from atop the balcony at Washington’s Joe Barron Center for the Tragically Moist.

“Like, this is SO that idiot Trump’s fault.  He pandered to Israel like a douchebag just because American Jews hate him.  They still do.  I don’t even understand how he can move another country’s capital.  It’s him that got everyone over there all worked up.  I hope his fat ass explodes.  Now who wants to meet me at the Jube for an AFTER PARTY, BITCHES!”

Many conservatives, teabaggers, and flat-headed senior citizens with flabby elbow bags believe that Biden caused the consternation between the Palestinian authority, Hamas, and Israel, by planning it purposefully in secret with evil Illuminati heads, including Bill Gates, Oprah Winfrey, and director Zack Snyder.

Snyder is already suspected of crimes against humanity by forcing a 4-hour long Justice League movie on Americans, that really didn’t improve on the original mess.

Snyder is currently working on a terrible 9-hour long version of “Escape from New York”, filmed entirely on the El Train.

All we can hope and pray for as human beings who only want to see the great apocalypse and rapture occur properly, is that Donald Trump will be re-elected in 2024 so that we can all die owning the libs.


About Fallis Gunnington 186 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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