Pelosi Ramps Up : ‘He Will Be Impeached By Christmas’


Standing before the Harvey Milk Rose Garden in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi told a throng of assembled reporters and news media figures that : “we are extremely confident that we have so much damning evidence against President Trump, that we can have him impeached and out by Christmas.”  Pelosi has indeed, alerted Capitol Security to prepare to “assist”, forcibly, if necessary, the President, Vice President, and staff out of the White House during that time period.

When Black Friday happens, I’m getting about two dozen of these babies to fly over Roy Schieder’s house in an epic tribute. That thing with putting a shark in his pool a few years ago worked out really bad.

After Trump has gone, Pelosi, as third-in-line to the office will serve in the role of Interim President, allowing Republicans time to select a candidate to run in the 2020 election.  Many are already speculating that Senator Ted Cruz or Mitt Romney may take up the challenge.   However, many potential candidates are leery to follow up the most embarrassing and criminal figure in the party’s history to attempt to re-brand and repair it’s shattered image.  Former candidate Rick Santorum explained on Fox News Sunday :

“See, Trump went way too far.  Sure, I tried to manipulate the conservative Christian base, which always works.  But Trump went after the infirm and gullible elderly and the tea party simpletons. He’s basically turned the Republican party into a giant special-ed class, with him at the wheel of the short bus.  I mean, I know I’m a piece of human garbage, but Trump makes me look like Jennifer Connely in that movie ‘Career Opportunities.’ I mean, you know, hot.  Remember?  She was riding that plastic horse all sexy?  Is this an appropriate metaphor?  Amen.  God bless. “

Santorum currently works as suppository salesman.

Pelosi intends to begin hearings as soon as next week, over the protests of Attorney General Barr, who called the Speaker a “bully.”  I guess when you’re the head lawyer in the entire United States and you can be bullied by a grandmother in her late seventies, your ego is the least of your worries, pus*y.

About Fallis Gunnington 171 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

Be the first to comment