Late Friday night in Detroit, Hillary Clinton met her demise on the floor of Joe Louis Arena. She’s gone but she died doing what she loved – moshing hard to the sounds of the Insane Clown Posse.
Hillary, you see, is a self-proclaimed “Juggalette”, the female counterpart to the “Juggalo”. Juggalos and Juggalettes are fans of the music of the Posse and of Psychopathic Studios music in general. They are generally known as freak shows not worthy of sharing our air though this writer reserves judgement on the matter.
Hillary was last seen alive while crowd surfing over the mosh pit in the concert. She seemed celebratory, repeatedly shouting,”Whoop Whoop” and laughing hysterically while pumping her fist in the air.
Just prior to the surf, she was seen to be chugging Faygo in the mezzanine with shots of Jagermeister – a deadly combination, as it turns out, for by the time she found herself being bounced around on the hands of a murder of Juggalos, she became extremely nauseated and began to vomit uncontrollably over all those below her.
The crowd, enraged at having regurgitated Faygo showered over them, threw her frail body quickly and roughly ahead until it thudded heavily against the staff. Her neck snapped and she died on impact.
The world is a far better place with one less Juggalo (Ette) in it.