Thunberg Raises Over $75 Million For Biden in One Week


Activist Greta Thunberg has the passion of the young when it comes to protecting and preserving the environment and the state of mother Earth.  Climate change has become an overlooked crisis recently as the Trump viral pandemic has spread across the country, and the teenaged nature lover has stepped up her game to preserve the future, backing and raising campaign funds for Joe Biden, the candidate she views as more reasonable towards science, to the tune of seventy-five million dollars in just one week.

Thunberg hasn’t tried to hide her disdain for America’s most morbidly obese climate-change denier, Donald Trump, referring to him alternately in the press as : “An ignorant old moron with no concept of science and reason”, to : “A horrifying example of ignorance in a position he has no right being in.”  The wooden-shoe wearing wonderkind boasts billions of admirers worldwide, some of whom have deep pockets and a deeper understanding of reality than a failed con-man turned game show host.

Although Chuck Woolery seems to be going the other way around.

Joe Barron of Greta’s high school glee club told the Washington Queefqueef Times that the ardent activist trusts Joe Biden far more than the incumbent blundering Infector in Chief :

“She’s expressed to everyone that she thinks Trump is a medical-grade moron who doesn’t understand any concept more complicated than paying for a prostitute or operating a pencil.  She believes his complete bungling of the Covid-19 pandemic response is proof positive that he shouldn’t be in charge of anything having to do with human life.  That’s why she’d behind Biden.  If nothing else, he’s sensible and competent.  He’s not a complete and utter embarrassment to humanity like Trump is.  The fate of the entire world is at stake.”

Shiny. Toss me some coin and I’ll see what we can do. Jayne, put down those grenades.

Thunberg made headlines this last year by seemingly going on a fictional hunger strike until Trump was removed from office, stoking the ire of many conservative Christians who called for her death and violent reprisal.  It’s good to know Trump really cultivates the best people.  From the lowest, shittiest gutters of America.

About Fallis Gunnington 186 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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