Pope Francis : ‘God Didn’t Send Trump.’


He’s the chosen conduit to God on Earth.  The man entrusted to care for the children of scripture, a holy man with an enormous spirit.  But Pope Francis is also no stranger to controversy.  First he showed acceptance to the gay lifestyle.  Then, he found sympathy for the poor, downtrodden, and alienated.  And now, this morning at an impromptu sermon from the Vatican balcony, he’s declaring that God did not send President Donald Trump, and in fact, dislikes the leader quite profusely:

“God did not send Trump.  God wants nothing to do with Trump.  God is about love.   Trump spreads only hate.  God wants leaders of men.  Trump is a failure in all manner of commanding.  God wants a good man.  Trump is a lying, cheating piece of trash who cares for no one but himself. He is damned, as is the soul of anyone supporting him.  Thank you.  Now y’all be safe out there.  Don’t vape.”

Mr. Fluffypaws, seen here 5 minutes before he was killed by second-hand vape fumes. Do it for him, people. Do it for him.

Many American citizens are upset that the Pontiff would interfere in politics, but then again, these are probably the same people who are perfectly okay with their church pastor telling them Trump is great.  It’s widely accepted that the religious who flock to Trump are pretty much like lobotomy patients running after the surgeon to have more work done.

Did God himself send Donald Trump, a failed businessman, uncaring husband and father, and legally-convicted con artist to save America?  Is the Pope wrong?  Or does he have, in this case, divine understanding?  Either way, the Red Hot Chili Peppers are minions of Satan.

About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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