AOC: Ban Lawnmowers To Solve Global Warming, Use Goats Instead

The truth is right in front of you.

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has always been crazy, but now she appears to have completely lost her mind.

“This summer, lawnmower and weed whacker use will increase to record levels,” the New York Democrat Congresswoman said in a House session Tuesday. “But how much are these things hurting our planet?”

“An estimated 2476 kilojules of carbon gas is pumped into our atmosphere every single day by just 100 of these machines, and thousands upon thousands are used daily,” she added. “And according to climate scientist Silas Botwin-Reyes, this adds to our already massive global warming problem.”

“We need to eliminate the use of these dangerous and harmful machines before it’s too late,” she said.

Wait — no lawnmowers? No weed whackers? But how will we keep our lawns trimmed?

Not to worry! AOC has a solution for that. Goats. No, seriously, goats. Quit laughing.

Bring on the goats!

According to AOC, everyone needs to purchase a goat and just have it eat their lawn troubles away. Sure, some people live in areas that don’t permit them to own livestock, but this small sacrifice of convenience is worth it to “protect Mother Earth,” she says.

Who will pay for these goats?

You will. The taxpayer. Your hard-earned dollars will go to subsidies under AOC’s plan that will provide goats to those who cannot afford them.

And if you can afford them according to the formula she will release at a “later date” (estimated to be if you earn more than $17,997 per year), you’re on the hook for mandatory goat ownership — or you face a fine similar to the health care fine under Obamacare “not to exceed $6,000.”

What will the Democrat Party think of next?

About Johnny Pragerphlen 20 Articles
Johnny Pragerphren is the racist counterpart to a sociopath who kills rats and exploits women.

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