Under Activist Pressure, White Sox to Change Name

TOO MUCH TOO FAR!

It looks like the politically-correct police have set their sights on Chicago this week, as the next site of one of their overblown activist crybaby “rough rides.”  According to protesters and dozens of citizen activists against institutional racism, the labelling of Major League baseball’s Chicago White Sox team with the “exclusionary” and “privelege-hearted” term “white” needs to be changed.  Sandy Batt, the team’s owner, told the Chicago Colored My World newsletter that she agreed.

“It’s just a stupid name in general, really, I’ve been wanting to change it.  I mean, who names a baseball team after the smelliest article of clothing since Trump’s jockstrap?  And why ‘white’ sox?  Why go out of our way to emphasize the color of the socks that people in upper-class neighborhoods with their Starbucks and their Forever 21 booty-shorts stores wear?  That’s why I’m announcing that a change is coming.  Soon, you may proudly come and cheer on The Chicago Ceteras, named for the great artist Peter Cetera who put Chicago in the all-inclusive light of uncomforably accepting light pussy rock music.”

Is this the team. That will fight. For your honor?  Are these the heroes. You’re dreaming of?

The name change is sure to rattle long-time fans of the team as well as gullible old potatoes who constantly think everything is against them, and that the world was better back in the “good old days” when you could name your dog the “N” word and slap a woman’s ass randomly on the street with our getting yelled at or arrested by politically-correct whipper snappers who never had to work as a soda jerk for their ten dollars a day.  Who’s next?  The Red Sox?  Maybe Boston can name them : “The Pieces of Mind” after that terrible song.  By Boston.

About Fallis Gunnington 125 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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