U.S. Fuel Expert Predicts $8/Gallon Gas By June


With his “full speed ahead” attitude towards destroying everything former President Donald Trump did for our country, our dear leader in the White House, Joe “So Jealous” Biden may be ramping up to pull money right out of your pocket and hand it over to Satan himself.

While that may be a ridiculous overreaction, it remains true that gas prices have steadily rose since Biden was elected back in November.  January, if you’re delusional and it took you a little while to come to reality.  Or not at all, if you’re a mentally endouchefied dipshit who believes in Q and sees chemtrails in your toaster.

“Trumpers, we’re going to need you to step back and drop the tinfoil lightsabers.”

At any rate, many trumptards believe the rising prices are Biden’s fault, even though gas prices depend on supply and demand, and their increase actually signifies that the pandemic is waning, so demand is higher.  Joe Barron of The Epoch Queef asked fuel expert and Tokyo drift enthusiast Han Lue why these people are so stupid.

“Oh, they love to go all ‘Keystone Pipeline’ crying about this.  That thing came about during the Clinton administration, and we’ve been fine without it since then.  I mean, the Trump people are know-nothing morons.  No ‘jobs’ were suddenly lost over a temp project the disgraced former President signed on for.  They hadn’t even been guaranteed yet.  Again, Presidents don’t magically control gas prices.  Now, excuse me, I have to jam on the brakes and skid a car around a corner.”

While it’s unlikely that gas will reach eight dollars a gallon without the usual Republican war or terrible economic policy decisions now that someone smart is in charge, it’s a given that every extra penny in the tank will be ignorantly blamed on Biden.

The question is : is it too late to send Trump’s cult of Chicken McDum Dums back to summer school to learn even the tiniest bit about how supply and demand works?  It probably is.  Just ignore them.

About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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