Al Sharpton, Pope Francis to Tour America in 2020


Depending on who you are and your point of view, it’s either a dream realized, or a nightmare about to come true : His Eminence Pope Francis has announced that he will begin an eight-month long tour of the United States, along with fellow proselytizer Reverend Al Sharpton.  The tour is set to kick off in January with dates in Alabama and Georgia.

According to Google, Alabama is the state with the most pumpkins having penis-shaped holes.

Sharpton, known for his civil rights activism and political acumen will serve as the opening act, performing mostly his own material, co-written with hitmaker Richard Marx.  His set does include a few crowd-favorites however, like the Isaac Hayes classic “Shaft”, and the Righteous Brother’s “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.”

The pontiff’s set list consists of uplifting rock and pop classics, including “Spirit in the Sky”, “I’m a Believer”, and the Air Supply smash : “Lost in Love”.  In keeping with tradition, Francis will close out his set with a selection of numbers from Queensryche’s Operation : Mindcrime album.

The hardcore harp solo in “Spreading the Disease” always brings them to their feet.

Highlights of the tour will be collected for a live album, tentatively titled : “Frannie and Al – Rockin’ It Live”, to be released in time for Christmas.  It will mark the first time a sitting Pope has released an audio recording since the incident in 1989 when Pope John Paul II accidentally taped himself farting in a confessional booth.

Media sources predict that tickets for the event are going to go fast, so check your internet ticket sales outlet early.  It’s sure to be a hell of a show.

About Fallis Gunnington 169 Articles
Fallis Gunnington was born the son of a missle farmer and an anti-Carter activist. Shot with a hunting rifle twice a week to toughen him up, Gunnington then joined the Kiss Army, where he received his journalism degree as well as a debilitating knee injury rendering him unable to kneel before anything but Old Glory. He is currently single, since no female yet has the appropriately mighty hips.

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