First Round of Federal Warrants Issued For Obamagate

Obamagate is here and it isn’t going away. No matter how hard the Democrats try to ignore it, it’s here to stay. Obamagate, in case you haven’t heard, is all about the crimes committed by Obama. The first phase, which is all about “unmasking,” is already underway.

According to our source inside the State Department, the NSA is currently investigating the officials that legally obtained the means to discover who Michael Flynn was and what he was doing. Those officials, while technically “doing their job,” were acting against the interests of the Trump administration, which is a crime in this country.

A federal judge has issued warrants to root out who was behind the unmasking. According to Justice Department memos, the investigation can’t move forward until they first determine the identity of those in question.

The warrants cover wiretaps, computer hacks, and video and audio surveillance of up to 14 of President Trump’s political opponents in an effort to determine which of them was involved in playing partisan politics. People on the GOP side of the action have been excused after signing a waiver of their rights and a statement of support for the president.

Chief investigator, Art Tubolls, says the warrants should clear up some of the basic questions about Obamagate:

“Patriotic Republicans want to have something they can use this election season, since ‘but her emails’ doesn’t apply. They need something concrete about Obama, and therefore Biden, to sell to the low-hanging fruit of a base in place of a valid platform. Now that the ‘booming economy’ is a thing of the past and we’re the epicenter of a pandemic we could have controlled, they need to be reassured that there are ridiculous things to point at that don’t really need to be explained.

“Obamagate means he’s a criminal. Anytime you add ‘gate’ to a word, that person is automatically guilty. Sure, it was already dubbed ‘spygate’ and went nowhere, but that’s because it needed a target. Now we have one, and his name is Barack Hussein Obama.”

These are tough times, patriots. It’s time to hunker down and start yelling things that matter. Obamagate is just the beginning.

 

About Flagg Eagleton 97 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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