First New York Street Vendor Arrested for Illegal Hot Dog Sales

The City of New York has reached a new low. After Democrat Mayor DeBlasio declared hot dogs to be too dangerous a food for his precious liberal city, he added them to the list of banned foods along with large cups of soft drinks. This morning, the first street vendor who dared to buck the system was reported and arrested for illegally hot-dogging.

Jerry McValdez of Chelsea was charged with distribution of an illicit food substance,” which carries the same penalty in the city as stealing a car. McValdez’s life is now forever altered because of a law he says he never even heard of:

“When did it happen that I can’t sell hot dogs from y hot dog cart? What else should I do with it? Not enough people buy pretzels. Hot dogs and drinks. They already took large sodas. Now this? What do I sell?”

The City of New York says that they are pressing for the maximum penalty for the illegal dogger. commissioner of Processed Meats and Cheeses, Art Tubolls, says they have to make an example:

“We get that he’s just trying to make a living, which is why we’re releasing his cast to his family, who have promised to move to Newark. As for Juan, or Jose…Mr. McValdez, he’ll be held over for trial without bail and will probably spend a good portion of the next three years in prison.”

The new law went into effect Friday. McValdez’s lawyer says his client was never notified in the change in the rule of the specific thing he sells. The District Attorney, however, reminds us that ignorance of the law doesn’t excuse you from it.

About Flagg Eagleton 59 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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