Federal Judge Sides With Trump Campaign

A federal judge has sided with the Trump Campaign in a very important case that may just turn the tide on the 2020 election.

According to sources, Judge Art Tubolls of the 63rd District Cout of Writs and Warrants has issued a stay of appellate injunctive relief in favor of the Trump campaign’s concerns over some ballots the president has called “fraudulent.”

After Trump tweeted out that “the 63rd Court needs to remember who appointed them,” Judge Tubolls issued an immediate injunction against a recount in progress in a crucial state that hasn’t yet certified its election.

Judge Tubolls’ clerk, Sandy Batt, says the order comes as no surprise, and Trump’s assertion that the judge owes him something is absurd:

“This was all about justice and not even a little about the appointment or golf memberships or lifetime free hotel stays the Trump campaign has given him out of the kindness of their hearts. It was a clear-cut case of fraud, and the entire state will now have to check its tallies as a result.”

Democrats have decided not to put up a fight because they seem to know they won’t win. Spokesman for the Biden campaign, joe Barron, says they aren’t worried about it:

“I mean…the case is in Alabama. I think we lost by like…20 points. Trump’s mega-genius lawyer Rudy Ghouliani seems to think he found the root of all election fraud. More power to him. They can…have Alabama? We’re really just confused.”

According to court filings, Giuliani has uncovered 11 cases of dead people voting in Alabama. They all seem to have voted for Trump, which will close the gap between him and Biden by…11 votes.

Why anyone is paying attention to something so ridiculous is beyond us, but it does show that the election wasn’t “perfect.”

“If it can happen here,” said Rudy in what appeared to be a coked-out stupor, “it can happen anywhere.”

Local authorities have issued arrest warrants for 11 members of the same family, all living at the same address, who may or may not be deceased.

We’ll keep you updated on this developing story.

 

About Flagg Eagleton 109 Articles
Flagg Eagleton is the son of an American potato farmer and a patriot. After spending 4 years in the Navy and 7 on welfare picking himself up by the bootstraps, Flagg finally got his HVAC certificate and is hard at work keeping the mobile homes of Tallahassee at a comfy 83 degrees.

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