Duggars Welcome 100th Baby to the Family


News just in that the Duggar family, known for their faith in God and prolificacy, has announced the arrival of the 100th baby for their family.

Their fifth son and his wife just gave birth to little Joe Barron Duggar. They chose his middle name to honor President Trump and his son Barron Trump — in an act of symbolism of fortitude and faith.

“We believe God called us to name this child after Barron Trump. He is a good, Godly boy and our President is so powerful. We feel this name will bless him for a lifetime.”

The family opted for a home birth, since Duggars are born with the amazing ability to birth babies easier than any other humans on earth. The genetics, which we can only assume is due to human evolution, enable this family to pump out kid after kid without much effort.

Fortunately, royalties roll in which help support the bajillion kids created by this randy lot.

Neighbors of the family are saddened that they will be unable to bring the typical 20 gallons of southern potato salad, 7 gallons of sweet sun tea, and 16 chocolate cream pies, in celebration of the birth.

Neighbor Sandy Batt says:

“This time it’s just different. We were hoping for a huge celebration to welcome the precious child. But, that’s just not happening this time. Martha already had the potato salad made, too. Does potato salad freeze? Does anyone know? Do ya’ll know if potato salad freezes?”

Clearly, this event is bittersweet for a community who normally celebrates family style.

Balloons were seen on the mailbox and there was a wooden stork in the yard, so at least there’s that.

About Norbert Heck 20 Articles
There's a lotta things about me you don't know anything about, Dottie. Things you wouldn't understand. Things you couldn't understand. Things you shouldn't understand. You don't wanna get mixed up with a guy like me. I'm a loner, Dottie. A rebel. So long, Dott.

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